The More I Try To Fit In The Less I Belong

It’s 6 am, my alarm goes off and I say to myself, “I need to show up, I know I will be happy once I’m there, There are people I enjoy connecting with…” And then another voice reminds me that it’s still dark out, my house is freezing and I’m so cozy under the covers. Quite frankly I’m not so sure if it’s worth getting up to go to this meeting? 

As I remained nestled in my bed, I noticed the warmth I felt coming from my dog Reuben who’s snuggled up against my back side. I’m tempted to close my eyes and go back to sleep but my voice say’s “get out of bed and SHOW UP.” So, I slowly move the covers off of me and I make my way to the shower. All the while I’m continuing to have these two voices speaking simultaneously in my mind. Truth be told, my self-will wins out, and ultimately, I ignore my inner wisdom.

That conversation in my mind was a really about the fear of not belonging or being left out. It was my desire to belong that kept me going to these early morning networking meetings. There was an incredible amount of turmoil within this particular group and yet I thought I could change the dynamics by engaging, proving myself and being a consistent member of this community. 

Needless to say, if I had just listened to my intuition, I would have been on another path all together. But my fear told me that this was the path to being a part of a group, growing my business and supporting other local entrepreneurs succeed. 

Can you relate? 

Here’s what I learned:

The more I try to fit in the less I belong. I had a desire to fit in; however, fitting is such a trap. So often when trying to fit in we try to be like others, we either hold ourselves back or we back down from being all of who we are in order not to make waves and to simply fit in to belong 

When we’re working at fitting in, we’re not seen for who we are. We actually try to blend in. We become interchangeable. Imagine a room filled with red chairs, that’s what fitting in looks like. Nothing discernable, just a sea of red chairs that all look the same.

Then there’s belonging!! Belonging is being in an environment where you are welcomed for your differences. There is inherent appreciation for you bringing forth your gifts and special qualities that are uniquely yours. The outcome of being in a community that values BELONGING is that your gifts harmonize with the other gifts people bring. Everyone’s differences are complementary to the whole.

Badass Engagement values belonging. We value and fortify one another with dignity, respect and love and through this process we are changing the way business gets done!! The old way of trying to fit in is the old paradigm. The new paradigm of belonging is going to change the way we interrelate in our businesses and in our lives!!

“It’s not about getting your way, it’s about creating the way!! 

For more information, I invite you to contact me!! 

Katie MacksComment